Forgiveness

September 17th, 2023

Year A; 16th Pentecost; Proper 19

Exodus 14: 19-31

Psalm 114

Matthew 18: 21-35

Matthew 18:21-35

Peter came and said to Jesus, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.

“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Homily by Rev Megan Limburg

In the name of the Holy Three. Amen.

Our gospel today finds Peter once more asking a question, and hoping, like all of us humans, that he already knows the right answer! He asks Jesus how often you need to forgive a member of the church who sins against you, and before Jesus can answer, supplies a seemingly good answer:

“As many as seven times?”

Peter likely knew the ancient rabbinic tradition that said to forgive another four times. So, Peter, again like all of us, tries to have a better answer, not ridiculous but looking good, because he is offering forgiveness 3 more times than the rabbis of old advised!

But Jesus’ answer does not raise the number another three, or even six times. He says 77 times, or as some translations offer, 70 times 7, which is 490. Whatever number Jesus offers, it is big!

And we need a big number from Jesus, because we need a lot of help with forgiveness; it is so hard, and so crucial.

In every study group I have been in, there are scripture passages that provoke discussions of history, and of theological concepts, and passages that bring up many questions, but this passage, always brings up stories.

We all have stories about forgiveness, and how we wrestle with offering forgiveness and wrestle with accepting it, in our own lives, and in the life of our country and of our world.

We all have stories lodged deep in our souls about forgiving, and not forgiving, and not being able to forgive.

So, let’s begin with this parable Jesus tells, a wild story about forgiveness that is full of extremes.

A king is settling his accounts and calls in one of his slaves who owes him money, 10,000 talents. This is a crazy, ridiculous amount of money! A slave would earn 1 talent for every 15 years of labor, so a slave could never have a debt this large.

The slave, of course, cannot pay, so the king orders all the slave’s possessions, along with the slave and his wife and his kids sold to pay the debt.

The slave falls to his knees and begs for mercy. The slave just asks for more time, for patience from the king, for him to pay off the debt.

The king feels pity, compassion for the slave, and thus goes WAY beyond what the slave begged for, a little more time. No, the king is his compassion forgave this whole outrageous debt.

A gift, a priceless gift, the slave has his life again, along with all he loves, his wife and children, mercy, grace.

And then, the story continues, and he is walking out of the palace and he sees a fellow slave, his equal, who owes him money, 100 denarii, about 3 months wages for these slaves, a debt yes, but NOTHING like what he had owed the king.

And the slave does not even greet the other but grabs him by the throat and growls: “pay what you owe”.

And the other does exactly the same as he did, begs for simply more time, patience to pay the debt. But the slave has learned nothing from the king’s lavish forgiveness of him, and he has the other thrown in prison.

And finally, Jesus concludes the parable as the other slaves have seen all of this action, the grand mercy the slave had received, and then his heartless, stingy way with his fellow slave, and they tell the king, who hands him over to torture until he paid the debt, that he now owes again.

A few thoughts on this parable full of extremes: first, forgiveness is absolutely central to our Christian faith. We hear of it in the Lord’s Prayer, in the story of the prodigal son, we ask forgiveness of our sins each week, and Jesus speaks of it from the cross:

“Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

To be a Christian is to take forgiveness seriously, asking to be forgiven and offering forgiveness to others, and at the foundation, knowing of God’s lavish love and mercy and forgiveness offered to each of us.

And just like with the slaves in the gospel reading, forgiveness is to be received and given.

In the Lord’s Prayer we might note that, while the prayer asks God for much, daily bread, thy will be done, lead us not into temptation, the only thing that is asked of us is to forgive, and only after we are forgiven:

“And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

That simple line has provoked so many discussions with parishioners in my ministry and in my own heart! Ugh! Why must they be linked?

I know I fall short often and am in need of God’s mercy in every moment of my life, but can’t I just forgive occasionally? When it works for me?

This actually brings us back to the wording in the parable that often disturbs folks. After the slave is caught in his own merciless act, he is tortured.

At first glance the torture might look like the slave getting what he deserved, but I do not think that is the meaning here.

The torture, the misery comes when we, like the slave, will not forgive. Like I said, I want to be an occasional forgiver, still hanging on to my list of ways that I have been hurt in my life, still thinking with a slow burning anger of those who have done me or those I love wrong.

But as the writer Ann Lamont said:

“Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”

Not forgiving poisons us, pulls us inward and holds us captive.

Forgiving another, giving mercy to another may or may not be received or wanted by another, but you will know, and you will be freed.

Whether it is heard or known or accepted by another, does not matter. Forgiveness offers mercy and freedom to the one who hurt us, but even more to ourselves…freedom that we will not have to continue to carry the burden and poison of old wrongs, old violations against us.

But goodness, it is so hard to do!

And that brings us back to Jesus’ big number, not 7 times but 77 or maybe even 490 times forgive. I think Jesus knew in his completely human and completely godly self, how hard forgiveness is for us, and he knew it is not a moment of forgiving , but often a lifetime of forgiving.

I know that the people I need to forgive most deeply in my life, I’ve been working to forgive for decades. Forgiveness is a long, repeated process, letting go of the poison and hate, offering and receiving the mercy slowly, sometimes, a drop at a time.

As we end worship today, we will sing “Amazing Grace”, perhaps the best known hymn about God’s grace and mercy, and forgiveness.

The 4th verse speaks to me of this process of forgiveness, this slow freeing from the bile, the burning anger, into the freedom of forgiveness, and that God walks with us in every step.

“Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come; tis grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”

Amen.